


Lazarus

by Kalael



Category: Zombies Run!
Genre: A weird sort of Runner Five/Sara pairing, Gender Neutral Runner 5, Multi, spoilers up to S2 SOS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-02-26
Packaged: 2018-03-15 10:10:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3443339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalael/pseuds/Kalael
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It’s a dangerous thing,”  She warns instead, “to give up your name.  You don’t suddenly erase the past just by ditching the name you carried.  As we all know by now, the dead don’t stay dead.”</p><p>“I’m well aware,”  Five says, weary after a long run and holding a cold compress to an old bruise that has yet to fade.  “But I think it’s safe to say that none of us are who we were before all this.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lazarus

**Author's Note:**

> I just felt like trying my hand at a Runner Five/Sara sort of fic, because I think Sara is interesting and I wanted to play some more with gender neutral Five. I'm trying to create a Five that anyone can relate to, which is really hard since I'm inclined to create sarcastic assholes with a lot of drama, so I apologize for that.

Five makes the choice to give up their name upon reaching Abel Township. Sure, the official documents contain that string of letters for propriety’s sake, but Five is just Five. No one really even questions it. It doesn’t take long for Five’s former name to become mostly forgotten, for Five to become the persona of Runner Five in its entirety.

Sara outright laughs in Five’s face upon the revelation, and stubbornly refers to them with their birth name for a week just to see how serious Five is about it. She stops when Five doesn’t waver in their decision.

“It’s a dangerous thing,” She warns instead, “to give up your name. You don’t suddenly erase the past just by ditching the name you carried. As we all know by now, the dead don’t stay dead.”

“I’m well aware,” Five says, weary after a long run and holding a cold compress to an old bruise that has yet to fade. “But I think it’s safe to say that none of us are who we were before all this.”

“Maybe not. But we should never forget the people we were, even as we embrace our new identities.” Sara’s gaze slides from Five’s face to a point somewhere over their shoulder, contemplative even with that mildly irritating smirk the woman always wears. They’ve run plenty of missions together, but Five wouldn’t have considered them friends. Sara’s talkative nature is tempered by the fact that she holds everyone at arm’s length. Only Project Green Shoot binds them together, a thing that Five only barely understands.

They don’t say goodnight. Sara just grins that same shitty smile Five has grown almost fond of, and when she leaves there’s just the quiet hum of the generators.

 

When Sara leaves in the aftermath, Five is still disoriented by the explosion. Confused, half conscious, and definitely incapable of running, Five sees the blurred figure of Runner 8 vanishing into the field. The coming days are a blur, what with New Canton and the alliance and all the insanity of Van Ark. But Sara’s absence is a noticeable one, and Five finds themselves missing that know-it-all smirk and the banter that was borderline cruel. Sara was not a gentle person, there was no soft thing about her personality, but she was _good_ in that moral compass sense of the word. She didn’t lie for the sake of lying, and she was honest when she could be. She was harsh, that much was true, but Five had appreciated it. Sam is kind to a near fault and probably always will be, but Sara's bluntness had kept Five on their toes.

Five does not want to accept her death. There was no closure, no body, no zombified Sara shambling about in the fields. She just vanished like some sort of ghost, shitty smile and all. Five does not think about it. They try not to think about her at all.

It’s not until they get to that goddamned ship that Five is forced to face Sara again. Literally, face to face, eyes locked, Sara’s shitty smile that seems to break at the edges.

“You motherfucker.” Five says, and Sara’s smile finally becomes something real.

 

Getting used to Sara the second time around is much easier. For one, there isn’t the suspicion that Five might be a spy. Five should honestly be a little wary of Sara, but they cannot for life of them find it within themselves to doubt her. The second the two of them start trading insults it feels like home.

Home. What a strange, stupidly sentimental thought. Five never mentions this to Sara, knowing it’ll earn them laughter and a painful punch to the shoulder. But sometimes they catch Sara looking their way on a run, gaze sharply focused and mouth set in a narrow line. It’s not a mask, not a facade, and that serious look makes Five’s back a little straighter and their gait a little longer. The runs go quickly now.

“Still going by Five, I see.” Sara mutters in the din of the mess hall. Five pushes a meatball around with their fork, wondering what sort of breadcrumbs the cooks used to get that almost-spaghetti flavor into the meager beef offering.

“It’s who I’ve become.” Five says, almost an admission of something else, and Sara reads between the lines because that’s what she’s good at. Her eyes are focused and Five ends up breaking contact first, smiling sharply as they stand up.

“But the dead don’t stay dead, right?” It’s the closest thing to bitterness that Five has ever shown in Abel. Sara stands up, the motion so abrupt it catches everyone’s attention. It’s a calculated move; Five can’t leave without causing a scene now. Sara knows how much they like their privacy, and if everyone is questioning Five about a confrontation, things might get loose.

Sarah smiles. It’s that smirk, the one Five was once a little fond of. Now it makes their stomach twist.

“Let’s go for a run, shall we?” They’re given clearance, and Sara turns off her mic the second they’re beyond the sight of Abel’s fences.

“You’re actually angry at me.” Sara says it like it’s the most fascinating thing she’s learned in years. “You, the vision of adaptation and the poster child of running away from your emotions, are actually angry at me. This is a treat. I feel honored, I truly do.”

“Fuck off.” Five snaps. They don’t break their pace and Sara keeps up with ease, her eyes mean and her mouth sharp.

“No, you listen to me. I did not pretend to be dead. I did not vanish from your life with the intent of creating more hardship for you. I read your file, you realize, the one that they keep on base like they do with all personnel. Just because you’re not originally military doesn’t mean they don’t have records.”

“That’s private.” Five argues, picking up the pace despite the fact that they haven’t come across any zombies yet.

“It’s really not. Get enough clearance, and poof! Access to all kinds of personal shit. You’re not the only one who has lost people. You are not the only one who has been forced to change since the veritable apocalypse came upon us. You are not special in that sense at all. However, Five, there is only one of you. Just one. You are not just another ‘Runner Five’.” And Sara says that name, the one Five had given up so long ago, and it stings so much that Five stumbles to a stop. They turn on their heel and without thinking Five throws a punch that Sara easily dodges.

“Stop running, and I don’t mean that literally. Stop trying to escape your past just because it hurts. So what, I left because I thought I was bitten by a zom. So what that I’m ‘back from the dead’ the way you wish that your loved ones were. Suck it up. We’ve all lost people. Just be glad that I’m not another one on the list.”

That’s what it comes down to, isn’t it? Five throws another weak punch, which Sara stops by gently grabbing their hand and forcing it down.

“I am glad.” Five grits through clenched teeth. “I am. But I’m just...”

Angry. Relived to the point that it’s painful, and yeah, a little bit torn because Sara was the one to come back alive and not any of the others. But it’s Sara, and Five can’t regret Sara.

“I’m glad you’re still alive, too.” Sara admits suddenly, and Five feels the anger drain away as surprise seeps in. “I didn’t know who was still alive after Abel went up in smoke. I didn’t even know if you’d made it out of that field unbitten. I guess you’re not the only one guilty of running away from their problems.”

Sara kisses Five then, the pair of them out of view from the cameras and their headsets turned off. It’s likely driving Sam crazy with worry but Five feels like they might drop dead right here, with Sara’s chapped lips against their own. It’s a quick kiss that doesn’t really tell Five anything.

It’s Sarah’s smile that explains it all, uncharacteristically bitter even though her eyes have softened.

“We’re both a pair of numbskulls, I think. Well, come on then. Sam’s probably having an anxiety attack at this very moment.”

They circle back around, picking up supplies on the way. They don’t talk about the kiss, and they don’t talk about the past, but when no one else is listening Sara calls that name which Five had buried deep and left for dead.


End file.
